She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
