Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
