yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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