his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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