Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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