check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
