well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
