butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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