I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
