ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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