I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
