Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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