OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
