its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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