But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
