I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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