i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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