plz talk dirty to me
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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