i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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