happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
