I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
