he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
