Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
