my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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