Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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