It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
