You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
