member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
COCAINE IS GR8
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
