She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
