I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
