Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
