Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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