It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
