Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
