It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
