Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
