Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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