Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
