How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
