You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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