i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
