is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
