Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
