Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
