i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
