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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
