Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
