Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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