so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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