I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
