Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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