it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
