shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
