I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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