it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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