he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You left your underwear on the fireplace
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
