well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
