I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
