i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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