Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
