Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
