if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
are you so shy because you have an std?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
