it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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