they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
