her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
