Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're like the curious george of whores
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
