Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize