the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
