Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize