i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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